Still undecided about renewing the domain name. But here’s an update:

1) I am still struggling.

2) I am still working long hours at a somewhat stressful job. Love the job, but it is demanding.

3) I am not ‘athletic’ any more, but I still do workout as much as I can and do some races just to keep me focused . When I have a 5k or half marathon or triathlon to work toward, then I am more motivated to get out and do the workout, and not be lazy. (by ‘not athletic’ I mean i don’t train to try and win my age group at races any more. I just train to burn calories and stay fit. I’m still in pretty good shape!)

4) I use www.loseit.com to track calories and workouts and try to stay within my calorie goals. I try to avoid too much sugary crappy carbs. Not always successful at that, but it is my goal to eat a well rounded diet. I try to avoid super fattening meat like meatloaf or BBQ pork. I do eat bread and pasta, but again, try not to eat too much of that. I know I’d be better off limiting that like the south beach diet. I do eat too much pizza, I admit. But I get veggie toppings, so that’ helps a little. I still use Slimfast alot!

5) Once again, I find myself afraid to step on a scale after the holidays. I did lose some pounds and got down to 148 last summer. Then I gained it back again over the holidays. Grrrrr!

6) Two of my three daughters were inspired by me to workout and do races. They have both slimmed down and are living healthy lives. It makes me cry happy tears to know that I helped them by being a good example.

So, here I am, what, 8 years after beginning my weight loss journey. And it’s still really really really hard. But it is really really really worth it.

Good luck to all who are travelling the same path. It will be hard. You can do it!!!!

But alas, the fun is over.   About a year ago, I went back to work full time.   That meant more stress in my life and less time to work out.   I have gained about 15 pounds.    It’s very easy to gain weight when you are stressed out and have limited time to exercise.

So, I am resurrecting this blog to help myself get back on track.   And I think it’s a great message to share with the blogosphere – that it requires constant work forever to keep weight off.

I am afraid to step on a scale.  I  have not weighed myself in about six months.  I weighed in at 148 then.  I think I am about 155 now.   150 has always been my panic point…where I knew I was in trouble if I let myself go past that number.   My pants are all tight, my skinny jeans no longer fit, and I have serious muffin top.

Here is my plan:

• I’m going to do  a new year’s day 5 mile running race on January 1st, 2011.
• I will weigh myself right afterwards.
• Between now and then I will be very good, and write down everything I eat and record all workouts.   And I will make sure to balance the calories in with the calories out.  I won’t try to seriously lose weight right now due to the holidays.  Just try not to gain.
• After January 1st, I will go into serious dieting mode.

Back when I was still trying to lose those 100 lbs, I used to use the phrase BOT = Back on Track.   Each time I fell off the wagon, I’d say to mayself, “This is BOT1 (or BOT2 or BOT3, etc)”.    This time around must be BOT53!!!

Anyway, I am giving up the diet soda.  I will report back how it goes.

I like Skinny Cow the best.    They have a smooth creamy taste with a nice chocolaty cookie outside.  Very satisfying.    Also kind of expensive.

My 2nd choice is Slim-a-Bear ice cream sandwich bars or fudge bars.   These are also chocolatey and creamy and satisfying. 

Today the Weight Watchers brand of ice cream sandwiches were on sale, so I bought those.   BLECHHH!  They tasted horrible.  The outside cookie part was dry and gritty and tasted basically like cardboard.  I'm guessing they were high fiber.   The inside chocolate ice cream part was ice cold and sickenly sweet.  Not cream, just icey.   I won't be buying them again, sale or not.

Before weighing in after a pigout period, I like to get back to a feeling of being in control, and not feeling all gross and bloated.  This is a state of being which I call my “thinner place”.   I also like to try on a pair of size 8 slacks which I bought when I was at my thinnest.  If I can zip those up without too much muffin top, then I figure I’m good.

Those two conditions were met today, so I stepped on the scale, hoping against all hope that I was 145 or less.   I weighed in at 144.6.  Yay!!!!    I weighed 142 before the holidays, so 2 lbs is not bad.   I will have to work hard to lose them, but, I really can’t complain.  In my fat days, I would gain 10 lbs every year (for 10 years – I’ll let you do the math on that one – hahaha!)

As I stood there trying to decide which to buy, a young couple came up behind me and the woman stated she wanted to buy some candy.  The man said "We need candy like a hole in the head".   I thought that was hilarious! I ended up buying a small package of Ferrer Rocherer hazelnut cups.   Only 2 per each of us.  Yay for me, and yay for that young man for reminding me I don't really need any more sweets this week!

I have had mild acne my entire adult life (I am 45 now!).   I can usually manage it by using over the counter benzol peroxide.  But sometimes it flares up and I get these huge pea-size bumps that are painful and embarrassing.  I'm sporting three of them as I type.  Wah!

I think my flare ups are related to eating too much sugary foods, and stress.  And those two things usually go hand in hand. If I eat too much sugar, I feel like crap and it stresses me out. If I am stressed out, I am tempted to eat bad foods.

Ah well, incentive to be good the rest of the holiday season and NOT eat any more sugar.  I will report back when I weigh myself again.   I worke dreally hard over the summer to lose 3 freakin' pounds.  I got from 145 to 142.  I'm pretty sure I'm above 145 right now…thus my fear of the scale.   I like to wait until I am back to my 'thinner place'.